Monday, July 02, 2012

Viva Los Tigos Splifficos

If you haven't read about it already, those long winter council meetings may soon feel much shorter, given Cllr Ian Driver's latest personal crusade, the legalisation of 'Prostitition' - an unusual local variation of prostitution and the free availability of soft drugs.

Ian, who has announced he will be running as a candidate for Kent Police Commissioner, freely admits to 'inhaling' on a regular basis, which may go some way in explaining the Thanet Independent Group's more bizarre and unorthodox policies and performances in the council chamber. Whether this sudden interest in 'Prostitition' and 'Spiff' or is that 'Spliff', extends to his TIG, colleagues, Cllr Dr Jack Cohen and Cllr John Worrow, remains uncertain but in future I will be watching Thanet's very own 'Banana Spliffs' closely, for any tell-tale signs of the 'munchies' in addition to the sudden laughter, giggles, incoherent mumbling, blowing of kisses, sticking out of tongues and more.

Ian writes:"Without the backing of a big party machine I will be reliant on donations from the Kent public to fund my campaign and pay the £5,000 election deposit. This is a chance for the people of Kent to have powerful, independent and non-party political person heading up law and order in the county".

He adds: "Most drugs do not cause loutish behaviour. Quite the reverse they help people become tranquil and relaxed. If drugs were legal then there is a strong possiblity that the alcohol fuelled violence and disorder would actually reduce. In an ideal world I know what I would prefer more people smoking spliff or dropping E, than drinking Stella."

It's too good an opportunity not to show the Woody Allen's cameo on addiction from 'The Sleeper' and Michael Child has already quipped, that he had assumed, from watching recent webcasts of council meetings, local councillors were already stoned out of their minds. However,  in conjunction with the proposed introduction of mandatory diversity training as one more part of TIG's next power-sharing deal with Clive Hart's local Labour, I think many of us on the opposition benches  might well prefer the comfort of a Thursday-evening, spiff-induced haze than watch our council business descend further into comic political farce.

So please don't lose this important opportunity to lend your support to Cllr Driver and TIG to gain even greater responsibility, diversity and authority over policing in our county. Give generously. I know you will.


Anonymous said...

I see Ian Driver is planning to do himself out of a job before he has even got it. Interesting concept though that if you legalise things you will not need as much police time spent on them. Taken to the nth degree, presumably if we legalise everything we will not need police at all or police commissioners for that matter.

No sure how total lawlessness works, but at least I could fulfill a fantasy I have about going round shooting far left politicians and Tory defectors!

Anonymous said...

I'd pay him £5000 to emigrate!

Anonymous said...

So legalise something and the problems go away,eh.
Well they legalised homosexuality,next step mandatory!!!!