Friday, March 02, 2012

Politically Correct

I've just come from Margate where you can see our 'diversity blogging warden' has been busy installing a gibbet on the harbour arm. I'm informed that our reportedly 'unreconstructed socialist' comrade councillor,  Mike Harrison will, as a penance, be invited to try it out for size by Ian Driver and will serve as a short-stay contemporary exhibit for Turner and the Elements, if you'll forgive the pun.

There's a prize for the first amateur photographer who can capture one of our trademark pink sunsets setting behind the gibbet. Quite what Stephen Fry will make of it all, when he visits the gallery is anyone's guess; what with Occupy Margate's tented protest village and an unreformed blogging socialist suspended precariously over the jetty as an artistic political statement!

I may have to run-off to Ireland for a couple of days on Sunday but I will make a point of not wearing a scarf when I pass through Gatwick's security zone either.

I had the 'third degree' a couple of years ago, when I was lucky enough to help position a Gulfstream executive jet from Manston to Milan's Linate airport.

Having arrived in Italy and passed through the private terminal, with a nod at passport control, I had to pick-up an Easyjet flight back into Gatwick an hour later.

I was still wearing my 'high-viz' yellow tabard and carrying my pilot's briefcase when I passed through the chaotic zoo the Italians call airport security and was immediately stopped. In the bottom of my bag was my top of the range Swiss Army knife, which I normally carried around in my own aircraft as a useful tool and I had quite forgotten it was there. After all, I had wandered unchallenged, through a near deserted Manston, unlocked a jet, climbed-in, started the engines and flown-over the Alps in 90-minutes with no problem but at that moment and being without a beard, I was clearly dodgy. After all, dressed as a pilot, I was armed with a pocket knife and so had some serious explaining to do.

In the end and having confessed to a series of misdemenours which fell short of traveling equipped to hijack an aircraft, my pen-knife was confiscated and I was allowed to catch my flight back to England' that's after the obligatory two hour delay!

Lord knows what might have happened if I had been foolish enough to be wearing a scarf!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

If you had been wearing a head and face covering you would have been waived through lest to stop you gave offence.