All right, so the Mail on Sunday is slightly further to the right of Ghengis Khan but it does serve a useful purpose in revealing stories of a society that has lost its marbles.
Last week, we heard that children would no longer be encouraged to raise their hands in class, least it oppress those that didn't have the answer to classroom questions. In fact, good teachers have had a solution to the problem of involvement for generations, it's called encouraging the shyer children but with increased state intervention, this may be conveniently ignored with much more.
Today, we hear that as modern educational theories whittle away at the traditional role of head teacher, a London primary has jettisoned the familiar title and now refers to him as a "lead learner".
The rebranding is seen as an attempt to create a more informal and inclusive classroom atmosphere. Others however condemn the move as evidence of more 'dumbing down' of the educational system. To me, it sounds plain silly but you may have a different view?
What other lunacy do we have in the newsprint this week? Channel Five is facing angry protests after it screened a Mormon recruitment advert - "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" in the middle of programmes watched by infants.
Under broadcasting regulations, religious advertising is banned during children's programmes and now a broadcasting watchdog is investigating why the channel allowed the religious group to screen the commercial during Milkshake!, a morning show watched by children as young as two. What the infants made of it all, Lord only knows? What's next I wonder, the Teletubbies followed by a the Friday morning sermon from Tehran?
Meanwhile, the "almost" PM, Gordon B, is proposing new, "Hardline anti-terror laws" including an extension of the 28-day limit on detention without charge. Back in Birchington however, we can't even stop the drunken kids in the town square throwing bottles and cans of beer at passing cars. I wonder when the middle-classes so despised by this government will finally rise-up and declare that they've had enough of the bureacratic Euro-lunacy that now defines our society. Just wait until July 1st when the smoking ban comes into force and every church has to have a sign prominently displayed to the congregation but thankfully, not in front of the altar.
I wonder what they'll think up next?